Afraid to Do Prompt

Afraid to Do


The other terror that scares us from self-trust is our consistency; a reverence for our past act or word, because the eyes of others have no other data for computing our orbit than our past acts, and we are loath to disappoint them. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Emerson says: “Always do what you are afraid to do.”

1. What is ‘too scary’ to write about?
2. Try doing it now

This is easy. I've written about it over on my personal blog and here . I was so afraid to talk of the discrimination, hatred and anger that plagued Wyatt and I for three long years in Los Angeles. I was afraid to let people know that our lives were terrorized by our neighbors. I was more than willing to admit that it was my choice, my fault, my problem, and all my fault. I wasn't willing to admit that someone lied to us, someone willing was breaking the law and we were getting screwed in the process, that we were the ones being discriminated against and that for all our priviledge we still were the ones in the right even though according to others  the sense of entitlement (and trust me it was) by the neighbors was wrong.
We are white. They were black. They were the worst kind of black. They were gang members. They paid off the police. They sold drugs, smoked and did drugs, had incredibly loud pay for entrance parties, bullied the neighbors into accepting their behavior, drank all day, and off course cried poor. Any time the police actually showed up to break up one of the parties at 2, 3 or 4am on a weekday they would say it was a FUNERAL! AND then we were expected to be respectful! I would have been if it weren't one every other day for 3 years. At the end of all of this I was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder as threats on my life and my family were made, my son was diagnosed with sleep deprivation, and my marriage was crumbling from the stress.
 
The other scary thing to write about is that I believe in population control. This tends to piss people off. It isn't that I don't think people shouldn't have children, it's just that I don't think people should be having more than one if they can't emotionally, physically, financially or educationally afford it. Many can't.
That is all.